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He will not accept authority and is very self-directed. CASE STUDY Emma Placid, calm and well-behaved, she is a very ‘biddable’ child who does as she is told. She is very quiet and appears to have very little spoken language. Her nurser y staf f have queried ‘elective mutism’. Mum repor ts that she doesn’t say much at home either. She is very shy and seems fear ful of her own shadow. She doesn’t stand up for herself and allows other children to boss her around. She will not asser t what she wants and does not complain if another child snatches a toy away from her – she would not ‘say boo to a goose’.

It also addresses some of the problems faced by families at this time. Change always brings fear, anxiety, doubt and uncertainty and coping with change across the life span may feel like walking on shifting sands. At every stage in family life for the family living with autism there are major changes to cope with for everybody. Never is this more true than in the teenage years. Adolescence plus autism makes a difficult time even more difficult and there are important issues to be confronted, such as understanding physical and emotional changes, the need for more independence, for making choices, for learning to deal with sexuality and interpersonal relationships and the importance of developing self-confidence and self-esteem.

Some parents are adamant that they want a mainstream school for their child; others are equally certain that only a special school will fit the bill, while yet others are completely confused about what is on offer and what will meet their child’s needs. Let’s consider some of the fundamental questions you need to ask yourself about your views on your child’s education in the big debate of mainstream versus specialist provision: • Will my child cope with the academic work of a mainstream school?