By Alessandro Porco
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Extra resources for Augustine in Carthage: And Other Poems (Misfits)
Sweet Laura to my Luke, As confederate as Daisy Duke; As Samoan as a fog-cutter, Cutting through catarrh; As allacabam as tooraloorals, And crowned by laurels; As cha-ching as a slot machine, More Duff than a teen queen; As rub as a dub-dub, And rhizomed as rhubarb; As blupa as tequila, And fishscale as kilos; As delumnimate as Hesiod, And blue-eyed as woad; As mad-libbed as smiddys, And jibbed as ditties; More divine than chimera, And clit-hopped as Asia Carrera; As strophed as Stroh’s, And fly as a farfallo; As prosecutorial as Kincaid, And krunk as kinkav; A gushing winged lover As pluvial as a plover; As luxuriate as lussorioso, And lush as a rostro; As warm as a winter’s Saki, And Porco as Miyazaki; More mondo than a demimonde, And goooooooooooooooooal as Telemundo; 40 As brewski as a brouhaha, And fugee as fugeelala — That’s the way that she rocks doing her thang!
30 IV – . . And all through the house ’Tis the season to be, and the Christmas tree Vince, Tommy, and St. Nikki pinched from a lot, With the help of — I think — Hans Naughty, Was decorated in beer, needles ’n’ snot — The thin pine branches carried more disease Than scraps of North Hollywood ass crashed On our kitchen floor; trash piled on trash. Neighbours filed official complaints with the city For the stink; the landlord reported a rankStank tub brimming with used tampons and pads; Roaches rimmed the sink, nibbling at scabs — And at each other, hopped-up on vermin smack.
Performances are simultaneous. The order in which the cards are performed is entirely at the discretion of each individual (shuffle, if necessary, for variety). All cards must be used at least once. Avoid moments of uniform silence amongst the nine performers. Duration is indeterminate but should not exceed nine minutes. For best results, select overly effusive gay men; or, the most sexually attractive female poets below the age of thirty in Canada; or Coach House Books poets. * 1 - WHAT-everrrrrrr WHAT-everrrrrrr WHAT-everrrrrrr 2 - that’s super soooo super that’s super soooo super 3 - uh-huh totally uh-huh totally uh-huh totally uh-huh totally 4 - ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod 5 - like do you like him or do you like like like him?